Trusting Him in the Moonlight

Today, I had my usual morning walk. What’s unusual about it is that I’m in Dongtan, Suwon in South Korea. I’ll be here until Sunday afternoon courtesy of the school where I work. Because it’s my first early morning having only arrived the day before, I didn’t really know when the sun would typically rise. Breakfast was at 7 a.m. so I set out just a few minutes before 6 a.m. It was still dark. Yesterday afternoon, I enjoyed a walk in the woods with my roommate so I’d already decided to take the same route. While we walked, I asked her about her self-defense skills in case we were attacked in the secluded and wooded area. She said she didn’t have any training and I concurred that neither did I. But, in unison we both said bravely that God was all we had and needed. Our walk turned out to be an extremely enjoyable one. We were both amazed to be in Asia and yet feel the cool, crisp air. Pine trees and other trees with leaves that had autumn colors enthralled us. We kicked the fallen leaves and delighted in having them crackle under us as we walked. The black and white magpies (she said they were naughty) were noisy and beautiful. It was wonderful to be up and down that hill, the sunlight streaming through the leafless trees.

I’d imagined my morning walk to be a repeat of the one with my roommate except that I thought of the first morning rays of the sun greeting me on the way down the hill. While I didn’t really feel fear that someone would jump nor attack me, I did wonder about slipping and hurting myself. I could barely see the ground in the darkness. There were low lighted posts interspersed along the path but it was dark in between. At some point, when I started to go downhill and the path looked steep and precarious, I asked God if he could please turn on the light. Dusk is actually a fascinating experience for me each time I see one. I love watching the darkness slowly begin to lighten. It’s like watching a miracle each time. One moment it’s pitch dark, the next few moments later, there’s only brightness. Only this time, I didn’t feel like watching another miracle. I wanted some sunlight to guide my way. I wanted my usual orangey yellow rays streaking through the trees when I walked. I waited but I sensed Papa God say instead, “You can trust me in the moonlight.” And that was all it took to change my whole outlook. It was like I saw the full moon for the first time this morning. There it was, the moonbeam, hardly seen in between the bare branches of the trees but discernible all the same! Yes, I can trust Him, and I did! The rest of my walk back to the hotel was then uneventful, enjoyable, and much appreciated. I hope that as the Lord allows me to go through the rest of my life with new twists and turns, I will remember that I can trust Him in the moonlight, I can trust Him in those new situations, dark and unknown they may be. He will never fail me, nor you.

Sometimes in life, we respond to our circumstances innately, unconsciously, and unknowingly. Thankfully, Papa God untiringly, lovingly, and patiently reminds us how to respond.

News on the EEEEs

Evan turned 20 last Sunday (November 14) so we all gathered to sing and greet him. He was obviously amused as we each tried to converse with him while Ethan continually made faces at him. I should point out that the last time we all “Skyped” him together was on his birthday last year. We should do it more often, it's fun! If only it’s easier to nail him down (and us!) at the same time. He is now on his 3rd year in college, taking English as his major. He recently finished acting and singing as Linus in their college’s Charlie Brown musical. We all wished we could be there but alas, we couldn't! Apparently, he did very well. Way to go, Ev!

Last Saturday (November 13), Eric was accompanied by Eng to Bangkok to get his PET/CT scan. The results showed that he is doing well and cancer is no longer in his body. We praise the Lord for this! His hair has now grown too, even in the areas where he had his bald spots. When he was 4-6 months old, his hair stood up. His new hair is doing that now, too! Eric is now in his senior year and is currently looking for a college to go to. On a recent essay, he wrote: “Life is not just about the good things that happen to a person but also about the bad. Some of life’s greatest joys can come from sadness; the end of the best of your life makes way for more great days to come.” He should keep writing, yes? Great job, Eric!

Our 9th grader Eli had a lot going for him just a few weeks ago but due to wrong choices, he’d lost a lot of what he valued. It broke all our hearts to see him so distraught yesterday but he’d repented and is learning a lot from the experience. When told by a friend that his parents don’t want him to hang out with Eli anymore, Eli's response was, “I deserve that”. It’s so sad to hear that but it’s a humble response compared to the one he would have made weeks before. He’s in a hard place now but he is learning and is taking the right steps towards redeeming himself. We know God’s mercy will see him through a complete transformation. We are proud of you, Eli. Keep on!

Here we are trying to fit all our faces in the frame of the computer's camera while "Skyping" Evan. Clockwise, we are Eng, Linda, Ethan, Eric, and Eli.

Ethan is 9 years old and in fourth grade. He’s athletic, smart, and extremely likable. He seems to be processing everything by talking it through. And, it appears that for his oldest brother’s enjoyment, he’ll put on the faces just to get the laughs. You are very funny, Ethan. Please don’t grow up too fast! =)

Hearing God

Surely the Sovereign Lord does nothing without revealing His plan to His servants the prophets.

Amos 3:7

I was prompted to write this because I’d like for us (including me) to hear God better. Wouldn’t it be wonderful if we could hear our Lord or understand Him more? He’s always speaking to us in myriads of ways! Yet, a typical answer when you ask a believer how he hears from God would be through the Bible, the preacher, or a friend. Yes, the Lord has spoken to me those ways too. It’s always touching and exciting when He reveals Himself to us even in familiar ways. But, could He speak in other ways?

I sat through a teaching this week-end at a women’s retreat (one of the great things about Chiang Mai!) and was bowled over by what I heard. She shared many things but the one that stood out to me was about her fascination and delight with flowers and how they seem to beckon to her. She added that the Lord spoke His love to her through them. I could only agree wholeheartedly. I have hundreds of pictures of flowers on my phone for the same reason. I feel like if I take their picture, I’m saying, “Yes, I hear you. I love you too and what you do.”

On Friday, I was on my way to chapel when I noticed that the water tower in the school property was overflowing with water. The water freely flowed from the top of this very TALL tower, cascading on all sides all the way to the ground. Hmm, what a strange and unusual sight! I wouldn’t have given that much thought but the message during chapel also showed an image similar to the previous one. It was of a beaker overflowing with water, again pouring out from all sides. What was that about, I wonder? Then later, I realized I left my sunglasses so I picked it up. As I donned it on, these thoughts followed:

• At the women's retreat, I will be filled to overflowing with the Lord’s blessings, His revelation, and His love. Later I wrote a friend and added that I just didn’t know which one He would fill me with. Now I wonder why I thought He would only fill me with one!
• I will see things in a new light, in new ways – just like seeing things differently when wearing sunglasses!
• I will change.

So now that the retreat is over, I can attest to the accuracy of what I heard. It just surprised me that not only was I filled with either blessings, revelation, or love, but all three of them combined! Amazing! Not only that, the speaker prayed for me and she said she saw a waterfall and would God please help me contain what He has for me? =)

Fascinating! The Lord is too fascinating. Now, if we could only free ourselves from all the distractions and the worries of this world. If only we could be still long enough to hear. Let’s incline our ears. “Speak Lord, your servants are listening.”

Seven to Go

That’s the number of months that we have left to live here before we head back to Toronto for a year long Home Assignment. I’ve been thinking about it because I know I contemplated “withdrawing” from relationships with friends and just busying myself with stuff that have to be done (they are aplenty!). Last night, we saw my friend, Susan (and her family), off at the airport. They were leaving for good. Susan and I have spent a great deal of time praying, sharing hearts, and singing/worshipping together so my heart was naturally grieved. I was actually surprised by the amount of tears that I shed! And it’s for this reason that it seemed to make perfect sense to emotionally pack up and stop allowing myself to get closer to people and to stop working on relationships. I know I would probably hurt less seven months from now if I choose to do this. Self preservation, how right it feels.

The only thing is, Papa God won’t let me be that way and I found out in the most unusual way. It was while I was receiving a massage from a Christian Thai lady named Pa Jum Pee (of Healing Hands on Soy 14 of World Club Land, cell #0871760030). As she was getting rid of the knots and aches in my weary body that day, my mind relaxed, my body was soothed, and my spirit was well ministered to. She had soft worship music playing which flooded my heart and I know she prayed beforehand that the Lord would use her hands to bring healing to my body (thus the name of her business!). And healing, and revelation, is what I indeed receive. I know the Lord impressed in my heart that I would miss out if I stopped relating with people. Not only will He not be able to use me to be a source of encouragement or help to those around me but I won’t be ministered to by Him through people if I don’t relate with them! He assured me of His grace to not just deal with my pain of loss in the future but to also help me get over it. He reminded me that He is faithful and His love is boundless and endless. There would always be lots of His love to give me and His help I will receive!

So I am reminded of “The Thorn Birds”, a book that I read years ago as a teen (by Colleen McCullough). The last page of the book talks about thorn birds and how they impale themselves, led by an immutable force that they know not what, on thorns, and then as the thorns do its deadly work in their bodies, they die singing. The author then mused on how we as people know and understand when we impale thorns in our hearts, but still we do it. Still we do it.

Thank you, Lord, even as we do choose what would actually give us more pain in the future, with purely your help, we are actually able to survive it and still end up being blessed by it. You are such an amazing paradox!

And Yet Again ~ Thank You!

Beth Moore said “Grace evokes praise and thanks just like lightning follows thunder. Whether we like it or not, when we see the lightning, thunder is just a few seconds behind. It’s just the way God made them. We may wish for the thunder not to follow the lightning but inevitably, it always does. For us, grace is new every morning. Papa God just delights in giving it. I wish I could always see it. Sometimes it’s so subtle, I would hardly notice it. I wish to have eyes that see in the spiritual so my heart will always swell with thanks as grace happens before me. I know giving thanks, like praise, look great on us and please our Lord enormously.

Well, the cheque has arrived from the insurance company. In the end, although they denied the claim in the first place (August 16th’s “End of a Journey”), even though it took a long time in processing as they figured out what to do (September 21st’s “Answered Prayers”), the cheque that eventually came covered the complete expense that we had to pay for Eric’s chemo treatments. They didn’t just partially refund us the money; they gave us a refund for EVERYTHING we spent towards his chemo! God gave us grace for Eric’s life, grace for the help we received during his illness, grace for how He met our needs, and now grace for this. And so yet again, because we cannot help it, we thank and praise, and thank and praise, and thank and praise.

Mighty God, Awesome God, THANK YOU! WE LOVE YOU.

More Thanks

I wouldn’t ordinarily write about meals or celebrations but I thought this year’s Canadian Thanksgiving celebration was exceptionally special, and for various reasons. First of all, let me start by saying that the actual Thanksgiving Day was on Monday, October 14, 2010. I don’t really understand why the Canadian Thanksgiving is on a Monday (the second one). I think the American Thanksgiving falling on a Thursday is far better. At least they have the rest of the week-end to eat the leftovers, work off the extra calories, and recover from the stupor after eating all that turkey! Apparently, turkeys have natural chemicals in their bodies that put us to sleep.

We celebrated with some Canadians on Saturday, October 16th. They live in the same house that our Australian friends (the Himstedts), who left in the summer, used to live in. It felt really strange initially to walk in there because we miss the Himstedts but, it was soon apparent that we all liked this new family (the Moores), and Canadians at that! That was the first reason to be thankful for. We lost our good friends the Himstedts but right at their old home, we discovered the Moores and their friends.

Secondly, we’ve been missing the Feniaks, our Canadian friends whom we’ve been spending Christmas with for the last six years. They left this summer as well causing more heartache and making us wonder how Christmas this year would be spent. Imagine my surprise when one topic that we talked about during the meal was what we’d do come Christmas. We’re actually now going camping together during the Christmas break and maybe share another scrumptious meal together. It is amazing that long before we even thought of our future, the Lord had it all figured out.

Thirdly, I didn’t think it was possible but as I posted on my Facebook, it was the first Thanksgiving meal we’ve had where we truly feasted. It was strange to be doing it in Chiang Mai, Thailand, but we ate, and ate, and ate, until we felt like the turkey, stuffed! I actually passed on eating the Apple Crisp dessert although I admit that I couldn’t resist at least a half a slice of pumpkin pie! We looked at our spread after our feasting and we hardly put a dent on the meat (ribs, turkey, and roast beef). That was how much food we had, way too much! It was a bounty (with corn, mashed potatoes, sweet potatoes, cranberry jelly, pickles, and bread). YUMMY!

For the first time in a very long time, we carried on our conversations the whole evening and not once did any of us have to explain what we were saying. When, “IGA, Maple Leafs, and referendum” were spoken of, we knew what those were! We, all eleven of us, were all from the same province of Ontario. What a refreshing way to spend Thanksgiving together!

Lastly, we capped off the evening by playing a game on what we were thankful for. LOTS! Thank you, Lord, for old friends, new friends, feasts, grateful hearts, and feeling ridiculously Canadian in Thailand. =)

(Canadian) Thanks Giving

Eng and Linda with Eric and Ethan. Eli wasn't feeling well when the shot above was taken.

Since it is Thanksgiving in Canada today, we thought it would be great to think of what we're grateful for (Canadian themed or not). Here are the answers in random order that we are thankful to God for:

Eli is grateful for our family, his school, sports (soccer) and the diverseness of Canada.

Eng is grateful that he's 50 years old and still alive. He's thankful for Eric being well (from cancer), for our prayer and financial supporters, and that we're able to celebrate Thanksgiving with a Canadian family this Saturday. He's glad that the Canadian dollar is almost at par in value with the US dollar and that the Toronto Maple Leafs have won two in a row. =)

Ethan is grateful for his family, for his friends, and that God made people. He's thankful that Canada has allowed for his relatives to live there.

Eric is grateful to be alive. He's thankful for the opportunities that his family was able to have because of Canada. "If it wasn't for Canada, then my parents never would have met or gotten their education. If it wasn't for Canada, I wouldn't be able to speak English as well as I do. I'm also grateful for my free public education (4th and 5th grade) in Canada as it taught me a lot."

I, Linda, am grateful for the Lord's love and where that love has taken us (Philippines, Canada, back to the Philippines, back to Canada, and now Thailand). I'm grateful for all that He's teaching and challenging us with. Canada will be just as welcoming and beautiful when we return there next year. The Lord will be just as faithful and loving. =)

Thank you, Canada. Thank you even more, Papa God!