Thursday, August 21, 2008


Since arriving back from Toronto, life has not been the same. I realise that it's the absence of Evan. And the knowing that he's not living with us anymore unless he visits, doesn't comfort one bit. Life is good and God is till sovereign and great, but it just feels like something is amiss, Evan is missing. Sigh.

I choose to be grateful and glad for all the years we've had him with us. Sometimes, it's just that the gaping hole that he made in our hearts when we left him in Toronto just threatens to swallow us up. Thanks God, for your grace that is sufficient.

The ad above is what we placed in his school's yearbook. Evan was prophesied to be born before he actually was. He was to grow up into a fine, young man. And that, he surely did!

Friday, August 8, 2008

I Love My Husband

Two years ago when I visited my parents here in Toronto, my mother (who has Alzheimers) was well aware that she was at the point when she could no longer remember everything she wanted to remember. One night,in her moment of frustration and resignation, she with hand on her forehead said to my father, "What is wrong with my head? What if I can no longer remember you?" My father very quickly answered, "You may go ahead and forget everything, just please don't ever forget me".

It's been two years since and she has forgotten way more. When tested by her Neurologist just a few weeks ago, she couldn't say where she was (which hospital, city, or country). She couldn't tell what day it was, nor whether it was morning or evening, winter or summer, or what year it was. She couldn't come up with the word for 'pen' when she was asked what it was called, nor the word for 'writing' when asked what the pen was for. It was particularly ironic and sad to hear the Doctor tell his Med. Student that my mother had her Doctorate and used to be a Teacher, then an Administrator.

At this point in her life, my mother sometimes remembers me (her daughter) but most of the time, she doesn't. She's constantly confused as to who my husband and sons are. Once, she wanted to go home reasoning that her parents would be upset as it was already late. We couldn't convince her that she was home! Since her mind was in the past, she couldn't recognize my father either. Thankfully, it lasted for only a few minutes.

At the Doctor's office, she was able to blink when shown the written instruction to do so. She also picked up the paper when commanded to. Lastly, she was asked to write a sentence, then to read it. Without hesitating, she quickly wrote the sentence 'I love my husband', then read it confidently. My father beamed and looked like he was about to cry all at the same time.

Nowadays, very few marriages last, and some of those who are still married, aren't always happy to be in the marriage. My parents are sadly greatly affected by my mother's illness, but in her lucid moments, they are a joy to behold. As they celebrate their 60th Wedding Anniversary this Saturday, they're definitely (by the Lord's grace) happily married. I am so proud to be their daughter.