Seven to Go

That’s the number of months that we have left to live here before we head back to Toronto for a year long Home Assignment. I’ve been thinking about it because I know I contemplated “withdrawing” from relationships with friends and just busying myself with stuff that have to be done (they are aplenty!). Last night, we saw my friend, Susan (and her family), off at the airport. They were leaving for good. Susan and I have spent a great deal of time praying, sharing hearts, and singing/worshipping together so my heart was naturally grieved. I was actually surprised by the amount of tears that I shed! And it’s for this reason that it seemed to make perfect sense to emotionally pack up and stop allowing myself to get closer to people and to stop working on relationships. I know I would probably hurt less seven months from now if I choose to do this. Self preservation, how right it feels.

The only thing is, Papa God won’t let me be that way and I found out in the most unusual way. It was while I was receiving a massage from a Christian Thai lady named Pa Jum Pee (of Healing Hands on Soy 14 of World Club Land, cell #0871760030). As she was getting rid of the knots and aches in my weary body that day, my mind relaxed, my body was soothed, and my spirit was well ministered to. She had soft worship music playing which flooded my heart and I know she prayed beforehand that the Lord would use her hands to bring healing to my body (thus the name of her business!). And healing, and revelation, is what I indeed receive. I know the Lord impressed in my heart that I would miss out if I stopped relating with people. Not only will He not be able to use me to be a source of encouragement or help to those around me but I won’t be ministered to by Him through people if I don’t relate with them! He assured me of His grace to not just deal with my pain of loss in the future but to also help me get over it. He reminded me that He is faithful and His love is boundless and endless. There would always be lots of His love to give me and His help I will receive!

So I am reminded of “The Thorn Birds”, a book that I read years ago as a teen (by Colleen McCullough). The last page of the book talks about thorn birds and how they impale themselves, led by an immutable force that they know not what, on thorns, and then as the thorns do its deadly work in their bodies, they die singing. The author then mused on how we as people know and understand when we impale thorns in our hearts, but still we do it. Still we do it.

Thank you, Lord, even as we do choose what would actually give us more pain in the future, with purely your help, we are actually able to survive it and still end up being blessed by it. You are such an amazing paradox!