Peace

Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.
John 14:27

Today, I received an email from my doctor explaining the results of the biopsy done on a cyst in my right forearm. It’s been over two weeks since the actual procedure was done. I actually initially started thinking worse case scenarios because during the removal of the cyst, the doctor commented that he hadn’t seen anything like the “stuff” he took out from me.

First, he showed me the small piece that he cut off the top of the cyst. As he prepared to stitch me, I asked him if I could watch. Somewhat perplexed that I was interested, he paused and allowed me to shift my body so I could have a good view of my arm while he “closed me up”. That momentary delay was all that was needed for him to see the unusual ‘something’ in the cyst. He commented that it looked like they had tiny legs and might be parasites. The only way to be sure was to look at it under the microscope, he explained, and then we’d talk about the treatment.

I don’t know how you would have reacted to that but I started to look at the other growths in my arms (there are a few) and wondered if there were tiny parasites in each of them just like the ones we saw. I had a good look at the beaker where the cyst was deposited. The tiny white particles looked like little fat caterpillars to me. How could they possibly be eliminated if they lived in cocoons in the form of cysts? What if there were cysts near the vital organs in my body? Would those little critters start invading my organs where it could kill me? Would they then do incisions in different parts of my body to rid myself of all of them? Yes, for several minutes and upwards to two days, my mind imagined and thought of all those. I think the funniest was when I looked at my arm again and saw little white spots. I started to imagine that underneath my skin were the bugs trying to escape the site of the biopsy’s incision!

Thankfully, I got a hold of myself and learned to choose what to think. The enemy could continue to steal my peace or I could just let the results of the biopsy arrive (as it did today) and deal with it then. I certainly had other things to deal and think about. I did that and with the Lord’s help, enjoyed the last two weeks, peace intact.

There was a time when I dealt with Eric’s cancer treatments and my hands literally shook. My lips professed faith but the rest of my body expressed fear. Eventually, complete calmness and peace took over but not before missing both of his first chemo and radiation treatments. I had to learn to trust God to take care of Eric in my physical absence. The Lord taught me to obey His command not to fear (Joshua 1:9). It was a hard lesson but worth all the difficult inner wrestling of sorts to learn it. Praise God for His patience in teaching.

Had I not learned, my last two weeks would have been stressful for me. Thankfully, it was anything but. Now that I know the cyst wasn’t parasite filled but merely a steatocystoma which is benign and has a hereditary pattern, I’m even more grateful I didn’t waste my time worrying! I’m glad I didn’t allow my heart to continually be troubled. There isn’t even a need for treatment! Thank you, Lord, for your grace and goodness, and most of all, your peace.

And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
Philippians 4:7