Blessings in the Giving

The Lord Jesus Himself said: "It is more blessed to give than to receive."

Acts 20:35

Pu Pah is 59 years old. She's had HIV for 19 years
but AIDS complications in the last few.

I continue to learn about myself as I visit the women dying of AIDs at Agape Home. I must admit that at first, I only felt sorry for them. When I first met Pu Pah, she was sitting on her bed bent over a pillow. She was grimacing in pain because her back ached. She didn't seem to know what to do with herself. I felt so badly for her. It looked like she wanted to lie down but I knew she was sitting up to make the pain bearable. I could tell that sitting up was an effort for her. How horrible it must be to sit and wait for relief from the pain when the pain just wouldn't go away. I could only pray for her and ask God to heal her, or end her suffering by bringing her home.

The next time I saw her, she was on her wheelchair and slowly shuffling her feet to move forward. She was very gaunt and thin so her arms were very weak.That day, we chatted a bit more and talked about her inability to eat more than two pieces of my favorite fruit (lanzones or longkong) before wanting to throw up. It was no wonder that she was skin and bones! I wonder how long she will suffer. I talked to her about God's love because I knew God loved her. I talked to her about not losing hope because I knew the Lord could heal her (bring her home or physically heal her). Yet, she wonders when she'll go to heaven, when her suffering will end and I don't really have an answer for her. I know I keep going back to see her because I believe in what I tell her. I know the Lord is the answer to her finding joy in her pain. Next time I see her, that is what I intend to pray for her.

I have a LOT to thank Pu Pah. Please pray for her.

In the meantime, instead of feeling like I was giving my time to her, she started to affect me. The day after I saw her, I started to tear up because I could taste food, I could go places, I could sit up without pain, eat until my stomach bulged, converse or read with interest, have the strength to do, and feel joy in my heart. What I used to take for granted, I now felt honestly and tremendously grateful for. I'm so thankful that I met Pu Pah. God had used her and opened my eyes to His goodness. I know she continues to suffer but I also know the Lord is able to be what she needs: a comfort to her soul, peace to her heart, and inevitably, joy in her pain. I don't know how the Lord will do it but I know He will. What a wonderful revelation. In my giving to them of my time, I am blessed even more. It is more blessed to give, than to receive!