Monday, July 5, 2010

Atop the Jacuzzi

Lord, teach me what real love is and make me a loving person.” This week’s dare from “The Love Dare, Day by Day”

Actually, I’m on the bed but it sits atop the Jacuzzi at my parent’s house in Toronto. It’s where I’ve been sleeping since arriving here to visit Evan and my parents. It’s very comfortable as in the absence of bodies (Eng’s or sometimes Ethan’s), I’m surrounded by pillows. I just have to make sure I’ve done what needs doing in the bathroom or I’ll have to climb back down again on the chair that’s set just by the door where the bed ends. It’s a strange arrangement but it works for me. I like it better than sleeping on the couch as it gives me some privacy when the door is pulled shut.

It’s good to be here and to spend some time with Evan. Today was his day off so he bought me lunch at an All–You-Can-Eat Sushi place and then we visited his favorite book store. He’s shown me where he runs 3x a week in the morning and we saw “Toy Story 3” (an excellent movie!) last week. It’s great to see Evan again. With regard to Eric’s being sick, he’s handled it well and resorted to praying a lot for him. =)

My parents are as well as they can be. My mother is 86 and has Alzheimer’s. My father is 89 and has Diabetes. He injects himself with insulin twice a day and it isn’t uncommon for him to wake up in the middle of the night in a cold sweat because his blood sugar level is too low. At those times, he eats chocolate bars (KitKat) that he keeps by his bed to quickly increase his blood sugar level. Every day, I thank God for another day with him. He’s been living on the Lord’s grace for a long time.
My mother is a different story every few minutes. We never know what we’re going to get. When she has good moments, she’ll take her medicine without a fuss and would be pleasant, warm, and cheery. Her many other sides could be any of the following: anger, rage, suspiciousness, vindictiveness, fear, confusion, doubtfulness, weariness, etc. We’ve had many tense moments as she attempts to throw her pills, react furiously as to why she has to take them, or call my father names for having her do something she doesn’t want to do. Every day, there seem to be a drama yet waiting to be played. Thankfully, she still responds to music and I’ve been able to play the piano for her to dance to. Unfortunately, the music does not keep her occupied as much as it did last year. She seems to tire more easily nowadays. Evan’s friend’s grandmother has the same illness but she isn’t talking anymore and just sits all day. For what my mother is able to still do, we are grateful.
The other day I found her unsuccessful in cleaning herself after going to the bathroom. I explained to her that she needed to change and proceeded to help her. She didn’t like how I removed her shirt so she furiously yanked it from me and attempted to pull it over my head. We struggled over the shirt, she pulling it down while I tried stopping her. At one point, I wondered what I should be doing. Should I physically resist her to the point where she would feel pain? I really didn’t want a smelly stained shirt on my head! In the end, she physically stopped and resorted to verbally say what she wanted to do with her hands. The whole incident shocked and surprised me. I felt fear for what she might do next but even more so for my reaction of not wanting to care for her. Only later did I mentally choose to let go and just now, forgive. Like she’s forgotten me, she’s forgotten the incident already. She really isn’t the problem; she is ill. The Lord is obviously answering my prayer above. I have a lot to learn.

Thank you for praying. Everyone is doing well at home. Eric is getting a CAT scan on July 12th and is now scheduled to receive his first radiation treatment on July 15th at Siripat Hospital in Chiang Mai.

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