Hearing in the Noise

I know that deep within you, where I live, My peace is your continual experience.

From “Jesus Calling” by Sarah Young

Last week was an extremely busy week for me. Since in my old job as ESL teacher I didn't even have teaching duties until at least the second week of school, coordinating three events (two of them for the whole high school) just three weeks after school started was quite a shock to my system! Add the fact that I'm still learning how to do my job and you get an idea of the state that my mind was in. So many to-dos called for my attention daily. Thankfully, Eng, who manages a finance office, helped me with some of the administrative details. Still, the amount of work was too much, too soon. I was surprised at the beginning of the week when a friend reminded me of our time together. I was completely focused on my tasks that I was just dumbfounded, clueless! I didn't even know we were supposed to meet! Towards the end of the week, I set the electronic alerts in the computer so that I would remember where I needed to be. Imagine my surprise when another person I had a meeting with, called. I was 15 minutes late. Dismayed at myself and unbelieving that I forgot again in the same week, I switched the program I was using on the computer and immediately saw the prompt to go to the meeting. Somehow, the program I was using didn't allow the prompts to display. It explained why I missed the alert that I had a meeting! That was definitely good to know! Eventually, the week-end finally came. I felt relieved, shaken, and exhausted. I'd never had a week like that! How was I going to function when it got even busier? Priding myself on being organised, I saw how easily that slipped away from me.

I know I defaulted to praying more but too much of my work day took so much of my time. How do I focus? I know I didn’t want another week like that to happen again! Thankfully, I was away for my usual 24-hour time of quiet this past week-end. My mind was so tired I couldn't even think of what to pray about! I was just literally still: body, mind, and spirit. I did nothing yet I began to feel literally rejuvenated! The rest I received felt wonderful. Then, it got dark. That was when the loud music of other guests started to play. The windows in my room were shut and the air-conditioning unit was on but I could still hear their music like it was just next to me! I read my journal and turned on my own music so that it could counter the beats of theirs. Somehow, being still with a quick-tempo-blaring-music-playing-non-stop was simply out of the question! The time I cherished was lost. I slept by putting a pillow over my head. When I woke up, it was past 1:00 a.m. The soft, soaking music that was playing on my computer had stopped. My computer exhausted all its battery power. Now what? The beat of their music began to figuratively pound on my head! Was there any hope of salvaging my quiet time? My situation reminded me of my days at work. It was so hard to focus on God in the busyness. Was that the point of it all? Was the Lord showing me that even in that noise I could hear Him? That in the busyness I could still find Him? Was anything impossible with Him? Did I truly believe that? I began to pray, began to amazingly tune out the barrage of sounds, and began to relax. I drifted in and out of sleep but I felt peace. My time there was not about the music, it was about my Papa God. My time at the office was not just about the work, it was about Him. =)  YES!

By 5:30 a.m., their music finally stopped but albeit relieved, it ceased to matter. I learned to listen to God in spite the noise. All sorts of things could go on, people could demand attention and the urgent would insist on being done, BUT, I can still look to you, Lord. You will still be there to lead and guide me. In spite the noise or confusion, you can be found. You help. You are the anchor that protects the boat from being battered and tossed about. You hem me in behind and before. You stop me from being carried away to the open seas, or from crashing on the rocks. Thank you, Lord, you are my anchor, the one who holds me and enables me to be.