Tuesday, February 21, 2012

Dreaming Big, Part 1

I’m overwhelmed
That I keep finding open arms.
From the song “What Love is This?”
by Kari Jobe, Mia Fieldes, Lincoln Brewster

I’ve always had two dreams when I was younger. I should clarify that as a teen, I also wanted to know how to love a man in every sense by having a husband, and to know how to love my own child.

Fast forward and now that I’m fifty years old, I have what I wanted. I am married to a man I love and do love our four sons. My dreams, though? They’ve always been that, dreams that I actually even began to forget. As I write this, I understand now that 2012 is the year that begins the fulfillment of those dreams. In January, I read an article about dreaming big so I recalled the dreams I’ve always had. I agreed with the writer that if I still didn’t do anything about my dreams, I’d be 90 years old and I’d be regretting what I didn’t make time for. It was time to act on it.

My first dream was to become a counselor. From as far back as I can remember I enjoyed talking to friends going through a hard time and just listening and helping them sort things out. It’s something innate that the Lord instilled in me when He made me. However, I lost my innocence and found out about rape, incest, abuse, etc. I changed my mind in becoming a counselor as I realized that finding out about what people had gone through would just sadden me. I wouldn’t have any answers for them and wouldn’t know how to help them.

As I matured and became a Christian, I realized that Jesus is the answer to any problem and I could point people to Him. He’ll take their pain, suffering, anger, bitterness, etc., and easily transform them. He’ll bring healing, peace, and hope. They’ll have new lives!

Encouraged, I enrolled in a graduate counselling course 11 years ago but soon dropped it when Eli (who was then 5) and Ethan (just a few months old) started to cry as I left to go to school. I knew it was the wrong time in my life to pursue studies then. I didn’t know if I could ever study again but I did what I knew was right. Now that Eli is 16 and Ethan is turning 11 on February 27, could it be the perfect time? I’m certainly old enough! I began to pray, inquire, and finally apply. Lo and behold, Eng and the leaders in our organization had all approved. I also have our sons’ blessings. I am about to start a long and arduous journey but I am all excited! Life was good but it’s begun to be even better! =)

In the near future, I believe I will soon be taking online courses so that I will eventually become a counselor. Our God who sees our sacrifices and knows the desires of our hearts will make it so. He is that GOOD. I am so awed. I feel undeserving but He just loves, loves, loves, magnanimously. I see no other reason and know it’s His work.

Aim high and dream BIG. The Lord will make a way for us because of His amazing goodness. Nothing is impossible for Him and as we allow ourselves to dream, we give the Lord something to work with in us. =) Go for it! I most certainly am, and with His help, will do it.

The second dream will be posted in Part 2.

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