Sunday, April 15, 2012

Dancing Again

Teach me to dance, teach me to dance,
I need to dance.

From the song “Teach Me to Dance” by Joy Reimer
Yesterday, I woke up and the lines above kept repeating in my head. They’re from a song that my friend wrote. I recorded her while singing it to me in Chiang Mai. I told her it was a great song but that I couldn’t understand some of the words (as her guitar was too loud). She then recited the lyrics but we both forgot to turn off my recording device after her song, so her recited lyrics were recorded also. Since then, I'd listened to songs on my phone and her lyrics played as well. =) Her spoken words were the ones that sounded like an echo in my mind. I suppose it shouldn’t surprise me that the Lord knew about how I’d wake up yesterday, almost two years after that time.

As I pondered that experience, I realized that the words were the cry of my spirit. It seemed to be telling my body what to ask the Lord in prayer.

On Good Friday, I attended the prayer meeting of Church on the Rock. It was led by their pastor so we did as she suggested (pray for the city, the church, families, etc.). We were then asked to form a circle, hold hands, and pray as a corporate body. I thought it was by chance that I ended up holding Pastor Peter’s, the former pastor’s, hand. NOT! We all prayed as a body, prayed in smaller groups, and were then asked to hold hands again. The two of us ended up side-by-side again(!) even though we came from different corners of the room. That's significant because both times, when our prayer times ended, he turned to me and spoke prophetically over me. He said many things but the last was that I would dance with the Lord. He mentioned the foxtrot and the samba (as examples, I think!) and then added that the Lord would lead and teach me to dance. =) I was amused and of course remembered my friend’s song. I also wondered if it was a literal dancing, or a figurative one.

Days later, I realized that it was mostly literal. I remembered how as a girl, I was performing the Hawaiian hula with my sister and the two relatives who were watching us, kept laughing. One of them said I resembled a stick in stiffness when I danced and then laughed some more. Because I felt insulted and embarrassed when I began to understand why they were laughing, it was the last dance I did in front of people without fearing that I’d be laughed at again. The whole time I was growing up, I didn’t dance unless I had to (like needing to perform in school to get a grade). I was already 19 years old when I realized what I was doing and I resolved and decided that I wouldn’t let people’s assessments of my dancing stop me from doing so. I also forgave. The older I got, the more convicted I was that I would dance if I wanted to, and did! I wasn’t comfortable and would always feel awkward but I was determined to persist and overcome my discomfort and fear of humiliation.

I now know that I did all that on my own. If I’m to be completely healed of my fears of getting laughed at however, I’d have to do it with the Lord’s help. He’d have to teach me and I’d feel proud of myself as He looks at me with pleasure at how great I’m doing. He would lead, and I would follow, very much like the reed gets blown by the wind. The reed always sways where the wind directs it to.

The very idea that the Lord would dance with me is enough to tickle me all over. And with God, there is no room for fear since His love casts it out. The pure enjoyment of dancing is all that is left, which is how it’s meant to be. Yes, Lord, teach me to dance. My spirit was crying out for it and now my mind and body want it, too.

Unexplainably, one of my older sons danced in front of me twice last week and I jokingly imitated him both times. As I danced like him, I realized that I was taught how to dance! =) The extra fun part with God is that He can dance with me literally through any Holy Spirit filled Christian. Let’s do it, Lord! Every part of me wants to dance with you. Teach me to dance, please, I need to DANCE!

1 comment: