The Gift of Kisses

My mouth will speak in praise of the Lord.
Let every creature praise His Holy Name forever and ever.

Psalm 145:21

Tomorrow, we would have been back here for three weeks. Time has flown. We’ve gone to different shopping places several times to shop for toiletries, groceries, and other stuff we needed to feel at home. We’ve been attending one supporting church that’s close to where we live. But most of all, we’ve been to my parent’s house to spend time with them.

Sadly, my mother, who has Alzheimer’s, has progressed in her illness since I saw her last year. While before she sometimes strung together random words when she spoke, now she does it almost all the time. Words come out of her mouth, mostly in Filipino, but they do not form a thought. Consequently, as listeners, we’d end up confused. She’d be talking to us in a normal conversational tone but we’d be guessing as to what she means and trying to come up with our own random answers. Sometimes, she looks like she understands us. Other times, she looks just as confused as we are.

She’s forgotten who I am and that I’m her daughter so there is no reason to relate with me. As a way to connect with her and to distract her, I’d play the piano. While I do, she sings or hums the words to the songs while her head sways to the beat, or she would sometimes dance to the melody. She also gets irritated if I misplay the song. =) At the very least, she would tap her foot in time with the beat. I look for that as my sign to keep playing. If she’s preoccupied with the music, she’s not scolding my father (which she sometimes does), nor sleeping (which she always does). It’s good for her mind to engage in something.

It’s been so HOT this week so I barbequed some meat on the grill instead of cooking inside their house when I visited them. It was close to 40 degrees so I was soaked in sweat. Not only was I wet, I could also smell the BBQ’s smoke on me. Ethan tried to hug me but quickly recoiled when he felt me (or smelled me?). I could perfectly understand him because I didn’t want to hug nor kiss myself either! It’s smelling like I did which makes me wonder all the more why I got the kisses I received from my mother that night. As I said “goodnight”, I offered to put powder on her face. (In the past, she loved using Johnson’s Baby Powder.) She allowed me to apply the powder on her left cheek with my fingers and then later told me to put some on the right cheek also. Soon; she was holding my hand and using my fingers to spread the then imaginary powder all over her face. She still liked the powder’s smell and I think it soothed her. I kissed her cheek then she asked me to kiss her other cheek, too. I thought maybe she’d change her mind as Ethan did once he caught a whiff of me but not only did she receive my kiss, she then kissed me on the one side of my forehead, then the other side and then she kissed my nose. Finally, she kissed

my chin and smiled at me. I was so taken aback by her gesture that I thanked her because it really touched me and I was so GRATEFUL. I know it may not sound like much but back when my mother wasn’t ill, she used to just sniff me, instead of kiss me. In one of her rare lucid moments, she actually, truly, kissed me (not once, but four times!). It was such a blessing.

My mother reminded me of our God. In our ugliness and stinky, dirty state because of our sins, He still takes us and incomprehensibly loves us and lavishes us with His kisses. What a God He is, the maker of the universe, lowering Himself to our level just so we could feel His love. Thank you, Papa God. =)

I will bless the Lord at all times...

Psalm 34:1