Wednesday, October 3, 2012

Exceedingly Good

Taste and see that the Lord is good!
Psalm 34:8
As I write this, I am on a return flight back to Chiang Mai. It’s been a very eventful and tiring three weeks. I’ve been crying a LOT. It makes sense to do so in light of my mother’s passing away. On the days following her death, I was grateful that she’d gone to heaven where her mind’s thinking clearly again and she’s with Papa God. I’d been praying for her healing for years. I know that the healing she received was way better than a physical one. However, during the funeral, watching my four brothers and two sisters cry, especially my father, was painful. Even in the last two weeks while staying at my father’s house, I heard my father sob and weep. All I could do was cry with him and pray with him when able. I’m glad that even though it was painful for me to be there, I was able to share his pain and help him grieve. We also had several discussions on the goodness of God and I know he was encouraged

Today, after I checked in, I had an almost two hour wait for my flight so I sought out a bank machine. On the way, I stopped by a washroom (restroom/toilet) and turned right instead of where I came from. Consequently, I saw the Chaplain’s Office which also had the Airport’s Prayer Room. Wanting to process and pray over things, I went in. Now I know my steps were directly guided there. My heart was then heavy as I spoke to Eric before I left the house and as I said goodbye, I asked him to forgive Eng and I for most likely missing his college’s closing ceremony next April. He said “yes” but it saddened me anyway. I would love to be there. Also, because they dropped me off at the airport, I just said “goodbye” to my father and Evan. This is the hard part about being a missionary.

In the Prayer Room, I prayed as I mindlessly flipped reading materials. Pat Di Fonzo, the chaplain there, then walked in. He saw me and commented on how sad I looked and asked if he could do anything for me. I asked him if he wanted to pray for me and we were soon talking. I shared with him the events of the last three weeks. The Lord used Pat to encourage me. He reminded me that the Holy Spirit was able to comfort my father and take care of his needs. He also encouraged me regarding my grief in leaving my loved ones here. He had me read Psalm 128:2 which was on a bookmark he gave me, “You will eat the fruit of your labour; blessings and prosperity will be yours.

I knew the verse above but it didn’t really make it easier to leave. I only felt slightly better. And then he quoted Matthew 19:29 and it made me start to cry again. I actually was close to weeping by the time he started praying for me.

15 years ago, while pushing Eli (who was then 1-1/2 years old) on a stroller, a scary question crossed my mind. “Why was I (we) giving everything up?” There was nothing waiting for us in the Philippines. We just gave away most of our material things and sold our house and van. Eng quit his work and we (with 3 sons under 7 years old) were soon to leave for Manila. What were we doing? Some Filipinos sold their land to move to a more developed country. There we were, doing the opposite as we prepared to leave Toronto. I asked God to remind me why we were doing what we were doing. Eli had fallen asleep so I returned home from our walk and sat in the porch to watch him. I opened my Bible to read and was soon reading the passage that Pat quoted me. It became alive to me then, and now, it just makes me want to weep.
And everyone who has left houses or brothers or sisters or father or mother or children or fields for my sake will receive a hundred times as much and will inherit eternal life.

The Lord knew exactly what would minister to me. I was amazed! I thought I knew God but now I know I’d barely scratched the surface. He's not just a good God, He is exceedingly good. Thank you, Lord, for who you are! Praise you.

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